The quiet man walked onto the stage with a deck of cards.
Nothing too exciting. We’ve all seen card tricks performed by big swinging d*cks before. Why would this one be any different?
The act starts with the cliche ‘pick a card and sign it.’ There’s a lame-ass shuffle. I’m half asleep.
Then the magician says “I’m going to tell you a story.”
He tells us about his friend Jack, and the Jack of spades card appears. He has a loving family, and a 5 of hearts appears. He likes to joke around in life, and the joker card appears.
He’d watch his family have a great time together and think, why can’t I have good time? This made him feel terrible. The more he thought about it the worse he felt. Suddenly he’d feel shame and become flush with emotion.
A full flush of cards appears.
Jack would then find a peaceful room at home and cry, alone. At 28, Jack felt he needed to be a strong alpha male.
Dudes don’t talk about their feelings, come on.
But Jack from Australia learned 1 in 10 Aussies seek psychological help, a card with 1 and 10 appears. Suddenly he didn’t feel alone and he could talk to his friends.
His research led him to understand that 3318 Aussies took their own lives in the last 12 months (those cards appear from the deck).
63 bodies a week.
For every one person, another 20 people tried to harm themselves. The #1 way people die in Australia is by taking their own life.
What helped Jack was hearing stories of people who faced similar dark times. Not just any people. Big-name celebrities, high achievers. Three cards with three celebrity faces on them appear from the deck.
The magician named Magic Mike reveals that Jack just shared his story live on stage … for he is Jack. He finishes with the advice, “shine bright like a diamond.” The ace of diamonds card appears in his hand with the signature on the front.
Everyone is in tears. I’m in tears.
Mike’s life is unrecognizable.
He used to be a scared 28 year old man facing the darkest of times. When I watched him tell his story it took me back to my dark past.
I faced similar mental health challenges. I was at the end of my patience. There’s only so much pain one human can hold inside of them before they do something stupid.
More than 10 years on, I don’t remember who I used to be, just like Magic Mike. What makes the difference is the good habits you choose that replace the bad habits that don’t serve you.
Here are a few habits to help you become unrecognizable in 90 days or less.
The bizarre habit of obsession
Obsession is what makes you become unrecognizable. Read that again.
Instead of being obsessed with darkness, or the past, or mental health issues — the number one thing you can do is become obsessed with something positive.
For me it was writing. For you it could be another habit.
My friend Peter became obsessed with exercise after his wife divorced him and took his three beautiful kids overseas forever.
A tragic event can break you or make you.
If you want to know what you could be obsessed with then look at your google search history. The answer probably hides in there.
All those years ago Mr Beast became obsessed with Youtube. He treated making videos like a computer game. He assembled a small team of people who had the same obsession.
They’d growth hack Youtube in real-time. They’d trade secrets. Some of their video calls would last 12 hours straight. Now Mr Beast is the most popular Youtuber to ever live. It’s no accident. It’s obsession.
Choose one thing to become obsessed with for the next 90 days.
Be 10x more assertive
It’s far too simple in life to become passive and blend into the background. This happens because we too easily take ‘no’ as a legitimate answer.
I became unrecognizable when I stopped accepting no with these phrases:
- Is there another way?
- What if we did/tried this?
- Are you open to…?
- What would it take to change your mind?
- Let’s assume I did have X, would you help me then?
Assertiveness is being confident that you’re not taking up space. That your life matters. Far too many people start emails with “I’m sorry to bother you but…”
Don’t be sorry.
Your life has enormous value. Act like it. It’s okay to ask for what you want. It’s okay to be unreasonable enough to believe you were meant to do great things in the short time you have on earth.
But if you don’t put your foot down and stop getting steamrolled by everyone around you, nothing will change.
Don’t take no for an answer. Don’t give up so easily.
Get around people who break your definition of reality
It’s hard to escape a plateau in life with the same people who led you there.
Before my slow transformation I had lowlifes, druggies, and thieves in my inner circle. I tried to change but they didn’t want me to change.
So I didn’t.
What happened by accident is I got around someone who changed my definition of reality. We didn’t meet in person though. I found him on Youtube of all places. I began placing his voice in my ears each night.
Then every morning. Then every afternoon too. Soon I had his voice playing all the way through the workday.
He kept calling me a bloody liar. He told me things I didn’t want to hear, like I was avoiding my fears. After enough times I decided he was right.
Everything he said crushed my definition of reality. I couldn’t deny what he said because it was true. Without his advice I would never have destroyed my BS stories about why I couldn’t have what I wanted.
I wouldn’t be about to become a dad in 7 days either.
If you want to become unrecognizable in the next 90 days then get around brand new people you’d normally never hang out with.
Just keep jumping from one group of humans to the next until you find people who break your definition of reality. Then stay with them for 90 days and listen to what they say.
New stories break old paradigms.