Strangers on the internet can be heartless.
The other day I posted a happy photo of my 9 week old daughter and me on the couch. The photo just lights me up. She’s better than winning the lottery or driving a Lambo.
But a random tweet reply left me speechless.
The ex-olympian body-shamer
You need to eat meat. Skin and bones.
That’s the comment he left on the tweet of my daughter and me. Normally I don’t get offended. Most people mean well or can be tempted to leave a snarky comment after a bad day.
You get used to it in my line of work.
But this comment hurt a lot. I finally got a dose of what women deal with every day. Go on … go to Youtube and take a look at the comments section of any female video creator.
You’ll get a bunch of so-called experts critiquing how they look.
Still, the comment I got is strange because a decade ago he would have been right. But right now I’m in the best shape of my life.
My daughter motivated me to go harder at the gym.
Since her birth my stomach has become flat, fat has been replaced by muscle, and the staff at the gym tell me I have a natural glow.
Maybe they’re lying, but you can’t deny how you feel.
I don’t work out to get big or show off. I do it because it became a coping mechanism when I had mental illness. Whenever my thoughts got dark a good workout would make them go away.
Now the extra fitness helps me lift my daughter up high and cradle her to sleep. Maybe it’s because the random body-shamer was a dude shaming another dude and that’s less common.
“You need to eat meat”
I don’t know how much this creep knows about me.
Perhaps he knows I’m vegan although I rarely talk about it. It’s definitely my first time being told to eat meat. Normally it’s the other way around and strangers tell you to eat plants as if they’ve just discovered Jesus.
I’m not gonna start the meat debate because there’s still a lot of research to be done. It’s at least a well-accepted fact that most of us eat too much meat and that’s not good for us.
Since I gave up meat I’ve never felt better. Most of my random health issues went away and the brain fog lifted.
I tell people I can (but don’t recommend it) effortlessly work 16 hours straight and not feel tired. It’s not me. It’s purely diet. Previously I could hardly make it to the end of the work day without my eyes closing on me from exhaustion on the train ride home.
Either way it’s a bad idea to tell strangers what they must eat.
Eat what works for you. It’s only through experimentation and regular blood tests that you’ll find out the truth.
I’ve noticed there’s a new manly movement online. It started with Liver King and now there are lots of copycats. They suggest you’re not manly if you don’t eat meat.
This random body-shamer is from that movement. I stalked him to see that he gives this unsolicited advice often.
The shame goes beyond food and body
A few years ago I gave up alcohol.
When I told colleagues and customers people thought I was weird. Just like this false idea we need to be muscly and eat meat, drinking alcohol, too, has become another chance to embarrass someone.
Again, alcohol kills brain cells so too much of it can make you dumber. It’s weird this fact doesn’t stop these manly warriors from spreading their “get shit-faced mate and have another beer.”
The day it became cool to abuse your body was the day energy levels and global IQ began to fall. All we can do at this point is rebel.
Perhaps the body standards are too high
I think about this idea a lot.
Perhaps all the Hollywood actors and Instagram culture have raised the body standards too high.
The random dude that shamed me says in his bio he’s a former Olympian. He spends his days telling people how to look and what they must eat to hold us all to an impossible Olympic standard.
Looks are superficial.
Like you can look good and still be an a-hole — such is the case with my Olympic body-shamer. If looking good was enough, we’d all be insanely happy and not bother too much with work or making a living.
But it’s not enough. Looks barely matter. People can see past looks when your character is beautiful.
The brilliant solution to all body shame
So what does this all mean for you?
Sometimes you’ve just got to believe you’re beautiful the way you are. Because if you think you’re beautiful and you’re happy with your body, then all the outside noise doesn’t mean as much.
That’s what I’m going to do.
Even if I am delusional and actually am skin and bones, I choose to ignore it. One day those bones will be in the cemetery and none of it will matter.
Beauty is internal.