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Eleven Things That Have Stupidly High ROI

by | Mar 21, 2022 | Life


Time isn’t thought of as a financial investment.

It is. Time is more powerful than US dollars or Tesla stock.

When you invest your time in awesome things, it compounds into a high return on investment (ROI) that’ll change your life.

A proper Zoom background

Most Zoom backgrounds look like the inside of a prison cell.

The world is now more remote than ever. In the olden days (pre-2020), what you wore to a meeting helped determine first impressions.

Now, your Zoom background creates most of the first impression because only your shirt can be seen.

I recently overhauled my Zoom background. Add colorful lights, indoor plants, objects that show your personality, neon signs, salt lamps, and bookshelves with books (helps you look smart).

First Zoom impressions count.

Marrying a totally different race

This one might seem odd. Hear me out.

Many people are stuck in the Matrix. All they know is their culture and what they learned from their family.

They stay in their bubble. They assume everyone lives in the western world with wifi and a Big Man’s Willy (BMW) in the driveway.

Nope.

Travel gives you an appreciation of different cultures. But it’s limited. Sure, people go to Italy and try the pizza, but most tourists just stick to the tourist spots which keep you trapped in the bubble of where you were born.

My wife is Asian. I get forced to learn about her culture by being married to her, otherwise, the in-laws will shoot me. Joking (not really, help!).

Marrying a partner that’s totally a different race doesn’t only benefit you.

It screws with YOUR family too. I love it.

My family doesn’t know much about Asian culture. They’ve never been there. Now they’re faced with two choices: The love of their darling “Timothy” or the prospect of getting banished from my life forever.

They predictably chose me.

Mix up your heritage on purpose. It’s better that way. Have mixed-race babies, too, as that’ll really stir things up!

Great DM skills

So much of life is asking for what you want. Yet 99% of people suck at it.

Don’t believe me. Open your DMs (direct messages) on any social media app. Go on, I dare ya! It’s a train-wreck.

The most common one I get is “Hi.”

Like jesus freaking christ. Is that the best you can do? DMs are mostly lazy. People don’t put any thought into them.

Then they wonder why the sum total of their replies is zero. Then they get angry and call people rude before screaming into their pillow prior to bed.

I’ll give you the hot tips to 10X the quality of DMs:

  • Get to the point. Get to the point. Get to the point.
  • Show that you did 5 minutes research in your DM.
  • Mention something personal about them.
  • Give a genuine compliment. Talk about their work.
  • It’s not about you. Make it all about them. Edit out selfishness. Nobody gives a damn about your problems or how they can help.
  • Make your ask at the end so clear a baby could understand it. Goo goo ga ga what? Spit it out junior. What do ya want?

Speaking two languages

A guy at work had a strong Arab accent.

“Hehhhh or no-hehh” my colleagues used to jokingly say.

Many dumb people make fun of broken English. Actually, those who can speak two languages are geniuses. It’s hard to learn a language. It’s a sign of high IQ.

More importantly, two languages are a superpower. Once, in a meeting, my Arab colleague was in a room full of white guys that could only speak English. They thought they were going to close a massive deal.

They had commission face.

The customer, Mark, walked in. He took them by surprise. Mark was Arab. My Arab colleague could speak his language. The customer felt at home and decided all the other “suits” weren’t needed.

Only knowing English can be unhelpful when you meet someone who doesn’t know it — or doesn’t know it well.

Puppy dogs with cute smiles

Dogs are humanity’s prisoners.

It’s not all bad though. A dog teaches you how to care for someone other than yourself. My dog helped me transform from the devil on a bad day to Big Bird in 60 seconds. (She’s in doggy heaven now.)

Dogs lower your selfishness. Coroni-rona and the great jab in the arm debate showed us how high the selfishness plague is.

Consider a dog if you never help anyone other than yourself. Get a dog from the lost dogs’ home to save money and reduce the need for more to be bred.

Oh, and puppies are the new babies.

Random acts of kindness

You wanna get drunk on happiness?

Commit a random act of kindness. Today, a dude messaged me about one of my online courses. I gave it to him for free. He didn’t ask for it, which is why he got it. Saved him hundreds of dollars.

We both had Cheshire Cat grins. Be kind.

Walk to solve problems

Real estate agents turn me into the devil.

It’s the ultimate form of the incentives being way out of whack. Most lie about their crimes more than murderer Charles Manson.

Walking helps clear the mind. Your best ideas will randomly hit you, too, the same way they do when you have a warm shower.

Walk off your problems.

Be stupidly early for appointments

Being late equals more stress. Many people forget this.

Being early to appointments gives you time to chill. I’ve found it lets me prepare properly for the appointment and rehearse my lines like Tom Cruise before a movie.

Never underestimate adding more calmness to your life. It amplifies creativity.

Work on the same goal for 5 years

I call 5-year goals tortoise goals.

They’re slow like a tortoise, but who wins the race between the tortoise and the hare? The badass tortoise.

Most people are way too impatient. They want everything in life to be a 60-minute Amazon Prime delivery to their front door.

The good life doesn’t work like that. A 5-year goal is how you succeed. It’s the right amount of time to build your network and master the skills needed to be at the top of your field.

When I meet fellow writers looking to make $10,000 in the next 30 days, I run for the hills. This way of thinking leads to Loserville.

Pick one goal. Dedicate 5 years. Iterate as you go. Get external feedback. Learn from the most successful in your field — not the deadbeats who are impatient and believe in overnight success.

Teach what you know to strangers

I’m not a teacher. LOL.

Yet here I am. I should update my LinkedIn profile to ‘educator.’ I write the curriculum, set homework, and manage enrolments. My online school is the school of life, without the $100K BS price tag of Harvard.

All of us are teachers.

If you’ve ever shown someone how to do something, you’re qualified. Teaching has a high ROI because it forces you to go deep with what you’ve learned and have it questioned by students.

The more you teach an idea, the greater the learning is reinforced.

It blows my mind how many people don’t do this

Let’s finish on a bang (not that kind of ‘bang’ you naughty person).

I can’t believe how many people don’t do this, or give up too soon. The highest ROI task is writing online.

I’m a broken-down, deadbeat, rusty old man when it comes to this one. I wish people would listen. They don’t know what they’re missing out on. It’s the missing piece to most people’s lives.

I filmed a documentary recently. The director said “you speak clearly and your points are sharp.”

“Yeah mate, writing online every day will do that to ya.”

Writing clarifies your thoughts. Sharp thoughts bring smart people closer to you. Smart people help you create new opportunities. Opportunities are the lifeblood of the good life.

Write online for the love of god. The hidden ROI is infinite.

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