Broke, single, lying in a pile of my own vomit and piss, passed out on the floor is what it took me to hit rock bottom.
A few hours before, I played a game with my best friend.
We decided to walk from my inner city home in Melbourne to the local pub. At every street sign we saw, we had to take a shot of Jack Daniel’s. I brought the bottle and shot glasses with us.
There were many street signs on the way to the pub. By the time we got there, I could barely stand. Through some kind of miracle the bouncer let me in. I went straight to the bar and ordered a shot of tequila.
Things went downhill fast.
I made an idiot of myself in front of all my friends at that pub. My high school bullies were also there that night. They thought I was an even bigger loser for projectile vomiting all over the dance floor while the Bee Gees song “Staying Alive” thumped through the speakers.
I was barely breathing. Almost dead inside. Definitely not alive.
At that point in my life I had nothing to lose. From this bizarre place my entire life changed forever in a good way.
The point of “F*ck It, I’m Gonna Try Anyway”
When there’s nothing to lose, there’s a lot to gain.
The downside is limited and the upside is limitless. It’s a beautiful place to be. Sometimes we look everywhere for success. Often what we need is the opposite. We need everything to crash and burn so it can be rebuilt again.
Rock bottom is where opportunity is found.
After my intense period of alcoholism, I reached the point of “f*ck it, I’m gonna try anyway.” It came about because everywhere I looked, people told me no.
No to jobs. No to dates with women. No to joining private clubs. No to my DJ career. No to records deals to sell my electronic music.
I became deeply frustrated. I thought this was a bad thing. But frustration has enormous value…
Frustration removes these common pitfalls from your life
My parents and school always taught me to have a plan.
The corporate world reinforced this idea. I’ve always been an overplanner. I also love to overthink everything. When I wanted to get married to my now wife, I asked everyone except myself whether it was a good idea.
When I wanted to start writing, I spent way too much time trying to have some watertight strategy to follow. In my banking career, I became obsessed with mentors.
I collected advice the way I collected empty bottles of beer as an alcoholic trying to numb my pain. I wanted someone to tell me I was good. I wanted to hear endless success stories from everyone who wasn’t me.
I thought I needed a mentor to give me motivation and bless my stupid life. I suffered from perfectionism too. As a musician, it took me forever to release a song. I was lucky if I published one song a year.
The record label I was signed to dropped me. They couldn’t make a profit off a perfectionist who only ever sold one $2.99 mp3 a year on iTunes. I was also a sucker for “someday” thinking.
Someday I’ll travel.
Someday I’ll find love.
Someday I’ll be a millionaire and never have to work this stupid job again.
It felt similar to this realization from author Charles Bukowski:
“I was waiting for something extraordinary to happen, but as the years wasted on, nothing ever did unless I caused it.”
When I became deeply frustrated I accidentally stopped being controlled by all these bad personality traits. All the roadblocks went away.
I thought to myself, “F*ck it, nothing is working, I’m gonna try new stuff anyway and forget about the results.”
This created a huge mindset shift inside of me.
Growth usually appears right after peak frustration
What this mindset is bizarrely all about
Most of us never learn the wisdom we need to move forward because we horde advice and try to skip the struggle, according to Dan Koe.
The struggle IS the way.
The f*ck it, I’m gonna try anyway mindset is all about leaning into a struggle that comes from doing hard things. You just accept everything is hard. You stop looking for shortcuts. You stop drowning in information.
James Clear describes it another way. He says “You will love whatever you pour your heart into. Passion follows commitment.” WOW.
Just commit. Do the thing you want to do and see what happens. It’s amazing how when you start taking action, you just figure sh*t out without overthinking it.
You don’t know what you don’t know. So get in the arena and find out.
Action creates momentum and that’s what leads to insight. If you’re intensely passionate about something and never take action on it, it creates insecurity. Zach Pogrob says this:
“If there’s fire inside you, with nowhere to go, it burns you alive.”
Most of society is burning alive. Have you noticed? Now you know why.
The missing ingredient from a Stanford Professor Twitter bro
Andrew Huberman has a cult following on X.
One idea from him knocked me flat. He says when we go from passion to obsession, what happens is we start chasing positive stress.
Most of society runs from stress. They’re afraid of stress like it’s the boogie man at the front door ready to eat them alive.
When we say f*ck it, I’m gonna figure it out what we’re also saying is we’re going to pursue positive stress.
Because without stress what we have is boredom and mediocrity. We have a life where we don’t meet our potential, and that leads to regrets that slowly destroy us like a cancer.
Knowing what you want is a selfish pursuit that leads nowhere
The average person knows what they want.
They tell everybody their goals like they’re chlamydia ready for a public $ex party. They are so focused on what they want, they don’t help others get what they want. But screw knowing what you want.
If all you had to do was write a list of goals, we’d all be Keanu Reeves with a Porsche, 6-pack and a string of blockbuster Hollywood movies to our name.
Instead….
Write down what you’re willing to give up to get what you want.
Did ya feel the right hook to the face? Every worthy goal comes with sacrifice. It’s the same when I decided to have a kid. I didn’t think about what it was like to have a beautiful ball of snot and poop to watch TV with.
I thought about what I’d have to give up to take care of a baby and wake up at 3 AM in the morning to a face full of baby vomit.
What are you willing to give up to chase your obsession?
It all boils down to this…
Being broke is hard.
Being a loser is hard.
Being a drunk is hard.
Being a minimum-wage employee is hard.
And…
Being a millionaire is hard.
Being an online writer is hard.
Being a leader of 500 employees is hard.
Being an online business owner is hard.
Being a successful author of a New York Times Best Seller is hard.
The best and worst opportunities are all hard.
So you may as well say, “f*ck it, I’m gonna try anyway,” and choose a hard option that leads to the life you want to live.
Choose your version of hard.
